im sorta hyper and hungry.i need to make me some ramen noodles after this.CHICKEN FLAVOR!! because thats the only kind i like...Anyways im here with Alisa [she has a blog u should check her out -------> http://animallver101tragicteeen.blogspot.com/] and my cousin jerome!! dude we are having so much fun :) ohh yeah!! we are watching jersey shore!!! grr haha i idk what else to put but right now my life is very complicated but im loving my life =]
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Sorry guys ☺
Sorry i havent been on that much. Its just i have been busy with other obligations. I have a twitter if you wanna follow. i update that alot (maybe too much lol).http://twitter.com/Rockmysockoff
Saturday, July 24, 2010
SUPET SHORT STORY
nothing new except i love my friends =] and i think im crushin on this one guy......... Me and my friend alisa can do beast russian accents!!! i love cody simpsons accent though........umm i got a tan today ....and umm thats all!!! THE END
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
If you really knew me...
im not so sure about this... its sorta depressing, but honest.
if you really knew me you would know how hard this is for me. to let my real emotions and feeling out
if you really knew me you would know how my home life is. How i come home everday to a single mom. who is disabled. a mom who has multiple chronic illnesses including mrsa, rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, diabetes.
If you really knew me you would know that i wake up almost every night to my moms desperate cries of pain. to her constant wave of nausea.
If you really knew me you would know that i only cry at night...when im alone...so no one can see me when im vulnerable
if you really knew me you would know that i joke and play just to hide the fact that im really sensitive.
if you really knew me you would know that im a people pleaser even though i hate to admit it.
If you really knew me you would know that today we had to buy groceries with fifteen dollars cuz my mom quit her job 3 weeks ago cuz she hurt her foot.
if you really knew me you would know that i lost my best friend over a guy. you would also know how i regret that. i told her everything. we were so close..its been almost 2 months since we last hung out
If you really knew me you would know that i act tough. i act as if i love life, like i have no cares in the world. When the truth is i hate life, im a weak little girl, and it feels as if everywhere i go im carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.
if you really knew you would know that i have to hide my moms pills in a lock box so she wont get them in the middle of the night when she is having a "episode".
if you really knew you would know that the only way to get through the day is by either a book or polvore, somewhere i can disappear and be whoever i want to be for awhile. Because even if its for a minute all my pain and worries go away
if you really knew me you would know that by now im crying my eyes out by now.....but still alone
if you really knew me you would know how insecure i am about everything. from my weight to how my school work is...
If you really knew me you would know how my dad betrayed me...... how when i was little he beat my mom, he kicked her out when she was pregnant, how he cheated on her. Also you would know how i still forgave him and overlooked that because he was my dad, the only one i have, and i was his first born, his little girl.......But i guess that wasnt enough for him, because i noticed how we werent staying in contact i looked him up on facebook to add him as a friend. [because i spend alot of my time on there] and when i found him the things on there was disturbing......All of his friends where young women between the ages of 18-26.... all of them with little clothing on......His photos was of him with some random girls in bikini's or him at some gentlemens club......... his activities were sex...his favorite book was the joy of sex..................
If you really knew me you would know how much that broke my heart. how many times i cried over that. how many times i thought of forgiving him only to think of how my 8 year old sister re act and change my mind. If you really knew me you would know that i had to tell him what i saw....... And if you really knew him you would know that he lied saying it wasnt his and that u cant access photo's unless ur a friend..obviously he didn't know that one.im not 7 im 15 i know hot to navigate a facebook page..... 2.that i was fed up with his bull shitt
If you really knew me you would know that allthough i have many friends hardly any of them know this...hardly any of them know the real me..they dont how my true raw feelings
If you really knew me you would know how everyday i wanna almost kill myself cuz i think im a waste of life, of energy..
if you really knew me........you still wouldnt know all of me cuz i protect myself from people, from the world
If you really knew me you would know that i can never show this to someone i have to see face-to-face, its to emotion for me to share..if you really knew me you would know that once i finish this i will never talk about my feelings or anything remotely close to this..
if you really knew me........you still wouldnt know all of me cuz i protect myself from people, from the world
if you really knew me you would know nothing
and thats what you truly know about me
xoxox
alexandria nicole
if you really knew me you would know how hard this is for me. to let my real emotions and feeling out
if you really knew me you would know how my home life is. How i come home everday to a single mom. who is disabled. a mom who has multiple chronic illnesses including mrsa, rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, diabetes.
If you really knew me you would know that i wake up almost every night to my moms desperate cries of pain. to her constant wave of nausea.
If you really knew me you would know that i only cry at night...when im alone...so no one can see me when im vulnerable
if you really knew me you would know that i joke and play just to hide the fact that im really sensitive.
if you really knew me you would know that im a people pleaser even though i hate to admit it.
If you really knew me you would know that today we had to buy groceries with fifteen dollars cuz my mom quit her job 3 weeks ago cuz she hurt her foot.
if you really knew me you would know that i lost my best friend over a guy. you would also know how i regret that. i told her everything. we were so close..its been almost 2 months since we last hung out
If you really knew me you would know that i act tough. i act as if i love life, like i have no cares in the world. When the truth is i hate life, im a weak little girl, and it feels as if everywhere i go im carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.
if you really knew you would know that i have to hide my moms pills in a lock box so she wont get them in the middle of the night when she is having a "episode".
if you really knew you would know that the only way to get through the day is by either a book or polvore, somewhere i can disappear and be whoever i want to be for awhile. Because even if its for a minute all my pain and worries go away
if you really knew me you would know that by now im crying my eyes out by now.....but still alone
if you really knew me you would know how insecure i am about everything. from my weight to how my school work is...
If you really knew me you would know how my dad betrayed me...... how when i was little he beat my mom, he kicked her out when she was pregnant, how he cheated on her. Also you would know how i still forgave him and overlooked that because he was my dad, the only one i have, and i was his first born, his little girl.......But i guess that wasnt enough for him, because i noticed how we werent staying in contact i looked him up on facebook to add him as a friend. [because i spend alot of my time on there] and when i found him the things on there was disturbing......All of his friends where young women between the ages of 18-26.... all of them with little clothing on......His photos was of him with some random girls in bikini's or him at some gentlemens club......... his activities were sex...his favorite book was the joy of sex..................
If you really knew me you would know how much that broke my heart. how many times i cried over that. how many times i thought of forgiving him only to think of how my 8 year old sister re act and change my mind. If you really knew me you would know that i had to tell him what i saw....... And if you really knew him you would know that he lied saying it wasnt his and that u cant access photo's unless ur a friend..obviously he didn't know that one.im not 7 im 15 i know hot to navigate a facebook page..... 2.that i was fed up with his bull shitt
If you really knew me you would know that allthough i have many friends hardly any of them know this...hardly any of them know the real me..they dont how my true raw feelings
If you really knew me you would know how everyday i wanna almost kill myself cuz i think im a waste of life, of energy..
if you really knew me........you still wouldnt know all of me cuz i protect myself from people, from the world
If you really knew me you would know that i can never show this to someone i have to see face-to-face, its to emotion for me to share..if you really knew me you would know that once i finish this i will never talk about my feelings or anything remotely close to this..
if you really knew me........you still wouldnt know all of me cuz i protect myself from people, from the world
if you really knew me you would know nothing
and thats what you truly know about me
xoxox
alexandria nicole
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
♪Remix♪
okay sorry i havent updated it has been a crazy past few days...lots of new things going on.... so instead of doing the same old format of me saying whats going on.Im going to edit a song to fit into my life right now
So here's my version of airplanes by b.o.b ft hayley willams
can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now, wish right now
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now, Wish right now
Yeah
I could use a dream or a genie or a wish
To go back to a place much simpler than this
'Cause after all the arguin
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now, wish right now
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now, Wish right now
Yeah
I could use a dream or a genie or a wish
To go back to a place much simpler than this
'Cause after all the arguin
the cryin' and tryin'
And all the blush and the bronzer and the lashes
And all the pandemonium and all the madness
There comes a time when you fade to the blackness
And when you're starin' at that phone in yo' lap
And hopin', but them people never call you back
But that's just how the story unfolds
You get another hand
Soon after you fold
And when your plans unravel in the sand
What would you wish for if you had one chance?
So airplanes airplanes
Sorry I'm late
I'm on my way
So don't close that gate
If I don't make that
Then I switch my flight
And I'll be right back at it
By the end of the night
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now, wish right now
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now, wish right now
Yeah
Yeah
Somebody take me back to the days
Before i was teen
Before I gained weight
Before it ever mattered what I had on my back
Yeah back when I was tryin' to pick a crayon
And back when I was just tryin' to do me
But now days we tryin' to fit in
I'm guessin' that if we can make some wishes out of airplanes
Then maybe oh maybe I'll go back to the days
Before the politics that we call a high school
And back when ain't nobody judged you for yo skin
And back before I tried to cover up scar
But this is for Myrtle beach
What's up Alex evans
So can I get a wish to end the politics
And get back to the reason that we all still here
So here I stand
And then again I say
I'm hopin' we can make some wishes outta airplanes
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now, wish right now
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now, wish right now
And all the blush and the bronzer and the lashes
And all the pandemonium and all the madness
There comes a time when you fade to the blackness
And when you're starin' at that phone in yo' lap
And hopin', but them people never call you back
But that's just how the story unfolds
You get another hand
Soon after you fold
And when your plans unravel in the sand
What would you wish for if you had one chance?
So airplanes airplanes
Sorry I'm late
I'm on my way
So don't close that gate
If I don't make that
Then I switch my flight
And I'll be right back at it
By the end of the night
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now, wish right now
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now, wish right now
Yeah
Yeah
Somebody take me back to the days
Before i was teen
Before I gained weight
Before it ever mattered what I had on my back
Yeah back when I was tryin' to pick a crayon
And back when I was just tryin' to do me
But now days we tryin' to fit in
I'm guessin' that if we can make some wishes out of airplanes
Then maybe oh maybe I'll go back to the days
Before the politics that we call a high school
And back when ain't nobody judged you for yo skin
And back before I tried to cover up scar
But this is for Myrtle beach
What's up Alex evans
So can I get a wish to end the politics
And get back to the reason that we all still here
So here I stand
And then again I say
I'm hopin' we can make some wishes outta airplanes
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now, wish right now
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now, wish right now
[as you can see i kept alot of it but some it changed.. so thats how im feeling now. which is very insecure]
Sunday, July 11, 2010
My life for the past dos days ♥
okay so i have like 3 views! lol im happy over 3 im such a dork! Anyways for the past like two days i have done the same thing, wake up around 10-1 clean the house, spend an hour on polyvore then hang with my friend alisa and at like 8ish hang with rudy or just go home and get back on polyvore. BORING DAY!!! tell me about it. YEa vut down to more serious stuff. My mom is like really sick she has all these chronic illnesses and its really hard being her daughter. Its just us two at the house, my bro is at college, and dad has always been out of the picture (thats another story). *RANDOM THOUGHT you got designer shades just to hide your face!* yea so like everyday i have to give her pills, fix her food and clean the house by myself =[ and im grateful because she gives me like a big allowance but still its hard. So lately i have been crying like alot... just to let my feelings out so i dont snap at her for something she cant control. plus she lets me drive the golf cart everywhere even though im only 14 and you need a license to drive one. umm i should stop typing cuz its like 10 and i have to get up early for work
songs listened while writing
bulletproof, cooler than me, and ridin solo
XOXO
nicole
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Really?!?
Okay so basically i will use this to describe my day, my feelings, my problems, and whole lot of other junk. lol well i hope you follow me. if not o well
XOXO
Nicole
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